A Queen Never Comes Off Her Throne

Now that Lisa F—in’ Rinna has left the building, there are just two Traitors left in the castle and… they’re not happy with one another. The latest episode of The Traitors begins in the turret, with Rob Rausch and Candiace Dillard Bassett convening for the first time since Rob voted for Lisa, who was banished at the Round Table. Candiace, in turn, voted for Rob, a “throwaway” vote, but one that was cast out of spite and annoyance, and it proves to be her sloppiest move in this game and her undoing.

See, Candiace built her game as a Faithful on consistency –– she targeted Ron Funches week after week, citing her desire to be nothing if not consistent in this game. So when the real Faithfuls gathered at breakfast the next day, they couldn’t help but call out Candiace’s out-of-character vote, which seemed rash and impulsive. At breakfast Candiace, who is dressed like the sexiest Mrs. Claus, has to feign surprise when Colton Underwood doesn’t arrive to the breakfast room. Back in the turret, she and Rob were given a choice to murder a Faithful or, alternately, to seduce one into becoming a Traitor. Both Candiace and Rob were wary of bringing a new personality into the turret, with Candiace especially concerned that Rob would use a new ally to help banish her, so murder it is.

Rob knows how mad Candiace is at him, so he gives her carte blanche when it comes to the night’s murder. They throw out a few names –– Stephen Coletti, Natalie Anderson, and Colton, and as much as Rob doesn’t like the thought of eliminating his best friend in the castle, he tells Candiace to kill whomever she pleases. Colton has to go. Candiace explains, “The goal of this murder was to cut the alliance between Colton and Rob,” but from where I’m sitting, wouldn’t killing Colton only make Rob look more Faithful, now that his bestie is gone? This game is so full of double and triple bluffs that there’s just no sense in trying to justify anyone’s actions anymore or find logic in these things.

After Alan Cumming arrives to breakfast and jokes about Bachelor Colton’s final rose being deadheaded, he sets them up for their mission. Three players, Mark Ballas, Kristen Kish and Rob, are selected by their peers to join Alan in his art gallery, while the remaining 8 players stay behind at the castle. The three player team has one major advantage, which is that an immunity shield is hidden among the artworks and only one of them can find and use it. (Kristen finds it and nothing more is said about it. Sometimes finding the shield isn’t a big thing!)

The gist of the mission is that the 8 players in the castle are broken into two teams of four, and each group is given a description of a painting which then then have to act out in a tableau, take a photo of it, and send to the team of 3, who then have to find the actual painting that most resembles the photo. (I can’t help but think of this as an even more deranged version of the Living Classics Pageant on Arrested Development.)

Team Dorinda/Maura/Tara/Natalie is incredible to watch, they are eating up the challenge and they know it. “We are absolutely amazing at this,” Dorinda deadpans. “We are very expressive, the characters are well-placed, and we’re all very good-looking. All those things matter when taking a photograph.”

Team Candiace/Stephen/Eric/Johnny does less well, despite their own impressive attempts to mimic a swaddled baby, or was it a decapitated pig’s head?

After the mission, things get even more messy between Rob and Candiace. Even though Rob extended a tiny olive branch when he gave Candiace the opportunity to kill Colton, there’s still no trust between them, and when they find a moment to themselves, she probes him about why, exactly, everyone is now suspecting her. The tension is real, and she starts digging for answers about who has been saying her name and for how long, realizing that Rob was witholding this information from her. When Rob reminds her that this is all just a game, she replies, “This is a game. And you are a snake. I see what you’re doing and I want you to know that if I get banished tonight, your name is going to come up.” “I feel like that’s bad sportsmanship,” Rob replies.

The tension between the two then spills over into the Round Table, when Candiace’s name is brought up first because of her random vote for Rob the night before. Candiace then accuses Rob of being Colton’s “beard” and using Colton to spread Lisa’s name around among the rest of the players. It’s Traitor on Traitor violence, and it feels like they’re both doing a disservice to the Traitor name if this keeps up. But ultimately, a majority votes Candiace out. As she bids farewell, she does not call out Rob as she said she would, but she does say in her confessional, “I’m confident they’re gonna look at Rob. And in the event that they don’t, joke is on them. Good luck to you all.”

The funny thing is, once Candiace is banished, literally no one is looking at Rob. Some think that Johnny is their next suspect because of how close he was to Candiace, but no one is even thinking of Rob. (“There’s no way. That sweet, sweet man,” Kristen tells Eric.)

But now that Rob is the last Traitor standing, there’s only one thing for him to do: recruit someone else to join him. (I so love a seduction, and if it were me, I would have seduced Maura because even though their Love Island connection is obvious, it goes to my thinking that if something seems too obvious on this show, people won’t actually take it seriously, but alas, no one asked me.) In the end, Rob recruits Eric, who is so flustered at receiving a letter from the Traitors that he sits on it. When he finally reads it, he immediately declares that he knows the handwriting of the Traitor who wrote his name. “Johnny.” Between his perfect ears and his handwriting analysis, Eric is 0 for 2. “I’m almost there. I just want to be left alone. This is what happens when you’re nice,” Eric says, disappointed that he now has to choose treachery over honesty. While Eric is reluctant to become a Traitor in theory, he also knows it’s the only way to stay alive in the game.

But when Rob pulls off his hood to reveal himself to Eric, I’m kind of worried the shock of learning Rob is under there might just have killed him.

Liz Kocan is a pop culture writer living in Massachusetts. Her biggest claim to fame is the time she won on the game show Chain Reaction.