There may not be many actual sex scenes in Office Romance, but Jennifer Lopez’s new Netflix romantic comedy still earns its R-rating in other ways. Like, for example, the scene where Brett Goldstein pops a boner after shaking Lopez’s hand. In his defense, JLo is very sexy!
Directed by Ol Parker, with a script written by Goldstein and Joe Kelly, Office Romance stars Lopez as Jackie Cruz, the tough-as-nails CEO of an airline, and Goldstein as Daniel Blanchflower, the company’s new in-house counsel put in charge of a new lawsuit against Cruz. Though sparks fly immediately between these two co-workers, the company has a strict no-dating-between-employees policy. Needless to say, it is inappropriate on multiple levels for Daniel to sport a massive erection after shaking hands with his boss in her office.
Here’s how it goes down: After a meeting with the opposing counsel goes well, Jackie calls Daniel into her office to congratulate him on a job well done, and apologize for doubting his skill. They bond over both being unhealthy workaholics. Jackie thanks Daniel for “being one of us” with a handshake. The handshake goes on for just a beat too long, as they gaze into each other’s eyes. The romantic music swells.
Then something in Daniel’s expression shifts. He looks pained, almost. Jackie makes the fatal flaw of looking down. And she does not like what she sees.
“Whoa, what the f–k dude?!” she exclaims.
“I am so sorry,” Daniel cries, mortified, and still very British and very polite. “Please, can I assure you, this is not my choice!”
At this point, it’s pretty clear to the audience what has happened. But just in case you didn’t get it, the camera cuts to a wide shot that gives us a clear look at Daniel’s comically large, erect penis, tenting his suit points. It’s as obscene as it is ridiculous. (Don’t forget Goldstein co-wrote the script, and therefore is at least partially responsible for giving his character this canonically enormous wang.)
“Get the f–king f–k out of my f–king office!” Jackie screams, trying to look anywhere but Daniel’s crotch.
“Yes of course, dear God, I am so sorry!” Daniel makes to flee, before he turns back to make the situation even worse. “I would like to explain that I think this caused by a variety of stimulus, or stimuli?”
“WHY IS IT STILL HERE?!” Jackie shouts.
“I don’t know and I wish it would go away and I’m leaving right now! I’m so so so so sorry!”
In an interview with Decider, director Ol Parker revealed there’s an even more explicit version of that scene that ended up on the cutting room floor.
“We could have gone there further,” Parker told Decider with a laugh, when asked about filming that scene. “There’s an edit that goes there a lot further. There’s an original edit where [the camera] tilts down from Brett’s face down to, um…”
At this point Parker cut himself off, but we think we know exactly what the camera was tilting down to.
“You give yourself options in the edit,” Parker explained. “You see what plays best. There are versions where you see nothing at all. As it is, it’s not quite hinted at. It’s a little more than that. But it feels a lot less than it could have been.”
Release the erection cut!